Guardian Angel
by i'm-a-painted-w-h-o-r-e
Summary: TITLE: Guardian Angel SUMMARY: Reader finds out parent's birth wasn't an accident. Goes to find her guardian angel, Lucifer, in a hunter's head. Searches for the truth about their death, becoming a hunter in the process. AUTHOR: XVII CHARACTERS: Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam, Garth, (Flashback!Assistant) WORD COUNT: 1206 WARNING: None, just meeting the boys and a mentor!Gar
1. Guardian Angel

TITLE: Guardian Angel

SUMMARY: Reader finds out parent's birth wasn't an accident. Goes to find her guardian angel, Lucifer, in a hunter's head. Searches for the truth about their death, becoming a hunter in the process.

AUTHOR:

CHARACTERS: Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam, Garth, (Flashback!Assistant)

WORD COUNT: 1206

WARNING: None, just meeting the boys and a mentor!Garth

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is the first chapter in a miniseries, au where Lucifer is real in Sam's head. P.S. I like the next chapter better js

It was just like any other day, your daily routine was off to a perfect start to the week. You headed to your office earlier than all the rest because you knew what these kids were going through. Ward of the state kids left to count on you, and your colleagues only cared about their paycheck at the end of the day.

An old envelope discarded and mistreated sat on your desk. You look back out to your assistant's desk seeing if she was there, "Liz? Who's the envelope from?" She hustled over to your desk with two cups of coffee. "It was from the old office downtown. They're digitizing all old files, not sure what's in it but i was to make sure it got to you." You thanked her for the coffee, and she retreated back to her desk. Setting down your cup you grab the letter carefully and proceed to open it. Must've been at least a decade old. To your surprise it hasn't been opened. Inside was a few papers and another envelope. You grab both looking at the letter as it read;

MS. Y/L/N,

AS PER YOUR PARENTS WILL, THIS IS TO BE RECEIVED 5 YEARS FOLLOWING THEIR UNTIMELY ACCIDENT. BELOW YOU WILL FIND ...blah blah blah.

Attorney gibberish filled the next 3 pages. Intrigued, you sat at your desk and opened the envelope that had your name written on it in your mom's neat cursive. It was a letter, dated 2 months before their fatal car accident, telling you that they love you and a bank account with money they were gonna give you for college. You chuckled, you could've used this in your horrible years at university. Then was a ripped piece of paper stationery. "Y/N, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, IT WASN'T AN ACCIDENT OR WE'RE NOT MISSING. WE DID NOT ABANDON YOU. TALK TO YOUR ANGEL, BABY. -LOVE DAD" The stationery had an address and at the corner read 'Singer's'

"Y/N!" Garth, your mentor, yelled outside of your motel door. You pulled yourself out of bed and grudgingly unlocked and opened your front door. You held the door open and invited him in. He cheerfully marched in as chipper as he usually was. "I just got back from a job. Ran into a demon that says his boys, the Winchesters, are in quite the pickle. Heard it from that Crowley guy that an angel screwed them over! Can you believe it? Who can we trust in this business?" he says baffled. You hear the angel part and put your arm behind your back.

Could it be Lucifer? Everyone you knew had a normal angel name but you just had to get the fallen. It was a clerical error but was caught too late, you had Lucifer. 18, signed out of the group home you went to a tattoo parlor to get one to cover yours. Always judged for it, now you can't even see it, but you can of course still feel it engraved in your skin.

"Garth, did they say what the angel's name was?" You move towards him and sit at the table where he had his laptop out looking for a new case. He glanced out of the corner of his eye at you. "It was Dean's guardian angel. That's not even the wackiest part! The angel did something to his brothers head! Kid thinks he's seeing the devil." He's chuckling, still can't believe it.

You wait a few minutes "Garth, I've been thinking. Why not have them help me further my training? Bobby, says they're the best in the biz." Garth immediately shuts the laptop and turns to face you at the table. He looks around you. "Y/N, they're not the warmest of fellas. No one ever asks for their mentor ship. They say danger looms over them." You roll your eyes and slide out of the seat. "Just think about it and ask Bobby what he thinks." You say lowly. He nods and opens the machine back up.

You are waiting at bobby's. A beer in your hand and you're watching some dumb sitcom. The boys agreed into letting you come on their next few hunts asking you do what they say when they say it. You didn't care, you needed to talk to Lucifer. He's all you thought or dreamt about for a year and a half. A rumble of a purring engine grabbed your attention, you went to the closest reflection and made sure you looked presentable. Your sleeves rolled just below your tattoo.

This was it, the beginning to finding the truth. You heard doors slam shut and chatter between two voices. You knew what they looked like, bobby had pictures all around the house. This was it. You inch toward the door and get overwhelmed with anxiety.

Don't be afraid of Sam, Y/N. Garth said he's a gentle giant. You reach towards the door handle and pull. "OH. Uh hi, i'm Sam, this is my brother dean." He put his hands in the front pocket of his jeans. You nodded and they waited there. Dean was avoiding eye-contact. "Right! I'm Y/N, nice to meet you both, i've heard things. Come in." Sam smiled politely and walked into the kitchen, Dean walked in holding a paper bag for you to take. "We brought food. Sam likes healthy crap and I don't know what you like so i got you just a burger with fries." He walked to the fridge and grabbed 3 beers.

DEAN POV

She seems normal but i can't imagine why she gave up a normal life. Probably death of a family member, Usually what it is nowadays. I tried flirting with her but she just brushed it off. Maybe it was just me, with what Cas did to Sam, I can't seem to stop worrying about that tall idiot. He insists he's fine but Bobby and I know better. We can't help him if he won't be honest.

"Sam, would you rather go on an all-expenses paid trip to wherever you want or money that the trip would've cost?" She asks sipping on her beer. Her leg is crossed over on the other. He smiles, are they flirting? She rejected me for Sam? "Vacation, I know why you asked that question. I took a semester of psych." She nods her head and looks at me with her eyebrows raised, expecting me to answer. "Dean's more of the kind to just take the money." Sam cut in before i could tell her that. She laughed and uncrossed her legs and leaned over the table, "I had a feeling." She smiles devilishly at me before laughing again.

"What was the money/vacation question about?" I ask Sam when she retreats upstairs to get sleep before we leave bright and early tomorrow. Sam chuckles and turns away from whatever chick flick he's probably watching, "She wanted to see if we valued experiences over money." He sips his beer and i drop my shirt on the couch. "I value experiences. That blonde from the bar two nights ago was definitely an experience." I grin at him. Sam rolled his eyes and smiled at the movie.


	2. Dick friggin' Roman

**TITLE:** Dick _friggin'_ Roman

 **SUMMARY:** Reader finds out parent's birth wasn't an accident. Goes to find her guardian angel, Lucifer, in a hunter's head. Searches for the truth about their death, becoming a hunter in the process.

 **AUTHOR:** **XVII**

 **CHARACTERS:** Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam, Bobby, Dick Roman,

 **WORD COUNT:** 2993

 **WARNING:** Drugged!Dean

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** this is the second chapter in a miniseries, au where Lucifer is real in Sam's head. P.S. this is a re-imagined version of 7x09

 **PART 1** **PART 3** **PART 4** **PART 5**

 _It's been about two weeks since I've started hunting with the Winchesters. Their history is complicated to say the least but they seem like good men, not that they'll admit it. They have these weird brother heart-to-heart moments almost after every hunt. Makes it awkward when i have to pretend to be asleep in the car while they are having one. Dean tries to flirt with me every once in awhile, after he does Sam and I make fun of how he does it. Dean noticed my arm tattoo a day after we met but Sam doesn't believe me on why i told them i got it. Granted, he's completely right but it's the best he's gonna get from me._

 _He seems to black out when i try to talk to Lucifer, his eyes shine bright blue when Luci comes or goes. So far from Lucifer is just dumb riddles but no straight answers. Sam cant remember our conversations which i thank God for but Dean assures me that God ran out on the universe a long time ago. Dean has the worst Daddy issues i've ever witnessed. And i've met some foster girls who would strip to find love looking for that 30-year-old male figure they never had._

"Did you strip enough wire?" Sam yells jogging downstairs from this abandoned house we found. We're using it to help us stay off the grid. One of bobbert's friends is an expert at it and gave us some help. Three leviathan goons created leviathan clones of us and slaughtered innocent people. Because the normal world doesn't believe in the supernatural we have to lay low.

"Yes, I stripped enough wire." Dean says lowly. Sam walks next to him and does god knows what to get the lights in the house going. "See? Told you." He says turning away. "Good job, Dean-o." You smile at him when Bobby comes in. He doesn't return my smile but just looks at bobby and says "Well isn't this cozy." Sam throws his glove on the table and grabs a seat next to you saying, "Well, Motel 6 just ain't leavin' the light on anymore." Bobby grabs the waist on his jeans and sighs "Well i'm taking a page out of Frank Devereaux's bible on this. Everybody's out to get you– paranoia is just common sense." Dean puts his right hand in his pocket. "Weeks, guys. Weeks." You tune out what dean says next because you know he's gonna complain about the living situations that "off the grid" has laid out for you all. Foster Care wasn't always great. Some parents didn't take care of you because you were just a job to them; a paycheck.

The electricity crapped out a few moments later. "That's just great." You and Sam shared a look. You rolled your eyes and he looked at Dean who was still bitching, "This is stupid." he starts walking past Bobby, "I mean, our quality of life is crap. We got purgatory's least wanted everywhere, and we're on our third "The World Is Screwed" issue in, what, three years?" He sits down and you're looking up at the ceiling wanting to go off on him. _It could be so much worse but do you think he cares?_ "We've steered the bus from the cliff twice already." He sits down and Sam speaks up "Someone's got to do it." Dean continues, "What if the bus wants to go over the cliff?" Sam asks him if he thinks the world wants to end but you tune out again. You can't keep hearing the same thing over and over again. Dean grabs a beer and stares at you while doing it. You glare at him, half listening to Sam's briefing. Dean lays down on the couch and replies to Sam moments later, "When was the last time you saw a bear string up his own pinata?" You chuckle and look away to Sam still not listening. "What the hell is a glamper?" Bobby's looking at dean so you look at dean too. "Nerds?" Sam puffs out air and replies "High-end camper. TV, AC, WiFi." You walk next to Dean and grab a can of beer from the cooler and whisper to him, "You know, in most households going to college is an achievement." Opening the can, sipping Dean looks over at you and smirks "Well in this one it makes you a nerd, sweetheart." You roll your eyes again, "I told you not to call me that." He smiles and retorts "And you also told me you didn't like when i flirt with you but we all say things we don't mean." You sigh, walk back to the table and sit down. No use in arguing, just gonna get his ego riled up.

 **DEAN'S POV**

Y/N, Sam and I are at a diner interviewing Ranger Rick about the victim. Told us he didn't know what it was but it was only animal kills at first, left just the remains of the meal. Bobby walks in looking cleaned up looking like a suburban husband, i can see Y/N is at the counter laughing with a waitress, good idea, talking to the locals. I talked to this waiter, Brandon, total douche bag. His attitude grabs her attention and she whispers something to the waitress and walks over to us. We sit down at a table and unfortunately get Brandon's section and make our orders.

"Sidewinder Soup for Big Bird." Y/N starts to stifle a laugh and Sam glares at her. "TDK Slammer goes to Ken Doll, a little heart-smart for creepy uncle and milkshake and fries goes to ethnic Barbie over there." We all stare incredulously at him. I look at him "What is your problem?" He immediately blows up at me yelling "You are my problem!" Walking away. Y/N speaks up, "That's so not cool, Dean would never be my Ken Doll." I roll my eyes and Sam laughs and says "There goes his 18%."

 **Y/N POV**

Sam and Dean seem to think Brandon is stoned. "Oh. That is good sandwich." Dean raves with his mouth full. You shake your head at him. "What'd you get?" Dean shows bobby the little specials sign to bobby. "New Pepperjack Turducken Slammer– Limited Time Only." You went back to your milkshake while Bobby made a comment about birds stuffed in each other's asses. Dean praises his sandwich and goes in for another giant bite. "Definitely not my Ken Doll." You repeat popping a fry into your mouth. Sam chuckles and goes back to talking about the case, filling you in while doing so. Brandon starts yelling about a fat female customer and storms off. You look down at your stomach, you know you could've chose a healthier meal, but you need to keep up your carbs when you're doing so much running. "Should I have gone with a salad?" Sam scoffs, looks at you and says "No, he wasn't talking about you. You're in great shape. Not as great as me, but great." You laugh, Bobby rolls his eyes and he smiles while Dean keeps eating his giant sandwich.

We're silent while hiking. Guns on our shoulders and you feel the urge to sing the _heigh-ho_ song from Snow White but Bobby would get irritated so you proceed to sing it in your head and keep looking out. Bobby stops all of you and says that there's been a few bucks. Bit of a scuffle. "Guess i forgot. Before you were a hunter, you were actually a…hunter." Sam breaks the silence. You all march along. "Yeah, well, we shot our dinner when i was a kid." Dean speaks up after, "You used to take us hunting, remember?" It's cute learning about their past. Bobby treated them more like a father than John ever did. You felt bad for them in that way. Your parents died, or something, when you were 9 but at least you knew them and they loved you and put your needs above all else.

"I never could get you little grubs to pull a trigger on a single deer. This little lady seems to not have a problem with it, luckily." You smile as Dean was quick to defend himself, "Talking' about Bambi, man." Bobby looks disappointed "You don't shoot Bambi, jackass." You laugh, "You shoot Bambi's mother." Dean and Sam smiled at each other and your heart grew heavy. You loved watching all of them like this,

You all found another strung up body and called up Ranger Rick but when he showed up he's acting weird. When you all heard the animal you all chased after it when it abducted Rick and wrangled him in the trees. When bobby forced you to turn off your lights you could hear him chowing down on him. It was disgustingly wet. Bobby shot at it and is a better shot then you thought he would be. Sam and Dean wouldn't let you help carry him, chivalry and all that.

Back at the house when the boys threw him on the bed he soon shot up groaning like the zombies in the Walking Dead. You shot him down, bullet to the head. Dean started acting like he was tipsy. When bobby started investigating the body there was some goo in Gerald's organs and Dean started to announce he was hungry. You stared at him wildly, he hadn't noticed. _How could you be hungry having witnessed that?_

You all went to the diner again and you ordered another shake. Dean had the same sandwich and ate it more disgustingly louder than usual. "Dean." Sam started, "Uh, so, what do you think?" Dean finally looked up from his sandwich. "I'm not that worried about it." We all questioned what the hell he was saying. He starts chuckling "That's funny, right? I could give two shakes of a rat's ass." _Oh god. Is he stoned?_ He started questioning his phrase then brushes it off and goes back to his sandwich. Sam bumps your shoulder and you look around. They all have the same food and are stuffing their faces with it.

Sam grabs it from him and they investigate it and decide to takes a closer look at home, dean whines "I can just eat it here, i don't want it to-go." Sam tells you to watch him, nodding walking him outside where he's closely trailing his sandwich that Bobby took. You push him into the back seat in the impala with you. He starts giggling "You touched my butt. You can do it again, i won't blame you." You roll your eyes and look out the window.

"This is stupid, my sandwich didn't do anything." Dean grumbles. He looks and sounds like a nut job. He started waving us off saying how fine he is and how we're overreacting. "The best i've felt in a couple of months. Cas? Black Goo? Ethnic Barbie rejecting me? I don't even care anymore. And you know what's even better? I don't care that i don't care." He shakes his head making a weird face and you pat him on the head and coo to him, "That's great, hun. But, that's just unlike you, and though you piss me off in a good way, you acting like this kinda worries me." You're playing with his hair and he looks at you in the eyes with a hard glare and says, "I just want my damn Slammer back." Sam tell him he's stoned and Dean just has his eyebrows raised again. A goop of grey slime comes out of his sandwich and he says "I think you pissed off my sandwich." We all come closer to look at it. Dean smiles at you, "If i wasn't so chilled out right now i would puke." You pat his back "That's great, hun." You shake your head and look at sam overwhelmed with worry for Dean.

"How's he doin'?" Sam whispers to you from the passenger seat of Bobbert's van. Dean's passed out in your lap in the back of the van. You kept brushing his hair out of his face and told Sam, "Got him to pass out pretty easily, turducken coma." He chuckled and sighed. Sam and Bobby start to talk about Dean. Dean is lightly snoring on your thigh and you can't help but eavesdrop on the two. "Who's left to live their own life here but her?" You look up at bobby while he keeps talking. Sam talks about lucifer again and you inch forward, careful not to wake dean. Sam squeezes his cut and all you wanna do is comfort him but you got this drooling idiot on your lap. Bobby responds to sam, "You always were one deep son of a bitch." You and Sam laugh. Sam notices the meat truck dropping off. Bobby starts up the van to follow.

Dean woke up later but you didn't notice because he never said a word. You were talking to Sam about dumb stuff, asking random questions to pass the time and you absent mindedly kept brushing his hair with your fingers. After awhile you looked down at Dean and he was staring at you, but it wasn't a hard glare this time. It was almost like he was studying you, breathing in your features. You stopped and said "How was the nap, Dean-o?" He cleared his throat and sat up. "Fine." The Midwest Meat Poultry truck finally pulled into a building's lot and you guys watched from a street over with binoculars. Another cream colored car pulled into the lot but you already recognized the man in the driver's seat, Edgar. _But what did leviathans have to do with this?_

Sam and Bobbert went back to HQ to do some more research. When Dean hung up on them you looked at him. "How's your head?" You said to ease the silence. He told you with the nap and the large amount of coffee he consumed that he's "nicely tense and alarmed." "That's great but i wasn't talking about that." He starts defending himself with the macho-men-don't-talk-feelings crap. "The suicidal-world bit? Dean, what's that about?" You sigh heavily, he's shifting in his seat and rolls his eyes. "I've just had it, i can't remember why i thought that all of this ever mattered." You roll your eyes. "You're not a person, Dean." He scoffs and sarcastically thanks you. "You tried to be a person with Lisa and Ben. But here you are in a van with a shit ton of guns and a girl you keep making uncomfortable glares at. That's not the way a person behaves. You're a hunter, Hunter's never get the chance to be people. So you find your _reasons_ , okay? Because Bobby needs you, Sam needs you, and I need you. We don't need another funeral." He stays silent looking at you unsure what to say. "You get your shit together or so help me i will kick your ass, Winchester." He speaks up then, "You don't need me. What you need is to stop pms'ing at me." He looks forward and drinks his coffee. "You son of a -" Sam and Bobby get into the van. Dean's smiling to himself.

"Somethings up." Bobby grabs the binoculars and looks at the warehouse. "Its Dick friggin' Roman." Dean and you ask bobby who that is, and apparently a billionaire and one of the top 35 most powerful men in america.

You were taken and found by Dick's goons from listening in on the meeting. They didn't tie you up which shows how confident they are in themselves, and frankly it made you nervous. "Cute don't quite cut it, sugar." He'd been giving you a small monologue. "Let's cut to it, Roman. Why am i here taking up your time?" He leans forward to you with his gun raised. "I'm gonna eat you, sweetheart." You chuckle "I'm assuming you don't mean in the kinky way." He laughs, "Humor in the face of death, interesting. But I like my meals prepared. And holding onto you could pay big dividends with tree, grandpa and your boyfriend out there." You smirk, "No, they're smarter than that. I've made my peace, being eaten isn't at the top of my list of how i wanted to die but it could be worse." He smiles at you and sits down at his desk.

The sounds of grunting brings Dick up to leave, he instructs you to stay put. Once gone, you quickly move to search his desk and find out what the hell the connections must've been. You then grab the gun you had hidden in your bra. Grabbing the plans you head out when some bitch clocks you sending you knocked down onto the carpeted floor. You aim and take a shot at her face and run away, not looking back to see if that affected her in any way. You follow Dicks voice to find Sam. You raise your gun to shoot him whilst distracting him. "Hey, you're cute when you're homicidal." Dean poured cleaning supply liquid on Dick. You all ran for the exit but bobby went another way. You waited for him in the back of the van with the boys. He raced out and soon trailed Dick, came out with his gun raised to you all. He fired 3 shots at the van. Bobby had already jumped in and you shut the door as fast as you could. You sigh heavily in relief when sam passed Bob's hat back. "You idiots should've left me."

When you grabbed Bobby's hat to give to him, he's still laying there unresponsive. Blood oozing from his head, "NO! Bobby stay with us, you're okay. We're gonna get you fixed up. Bob!" you shout grabbing the boy's' attention. "Dean, what do we do? He's only unconscious." Dean hauls ass to get us to the closest hospital.


	3. Idjits

_I tried to be useful, to help in anyway i could, but no cigar. They forgot i was there after awhile. They should've just left me there. Bobby would still be alive, they need Bobby. He's the glue that holds us together. The boys and the hunter community, he's the paranoid librarian, the realist who will make you be real with yourself and cut the bullshit. I would've been more useful dead. But instead i'm trailing behind the Winchesters as their surrogate father is dying right before them at the hands of the enemy._

They rush Bobby through the doors and we follow behind. We stare, looking at the doctors, to bobby, and to the doctors again. Dean looks at Sam and you with helplessness and desperation. Sam pleads for them to let us know what's going on and immediately the doctors and the nurses try to escort us out. You look at Dean ready for anger and defiance but he just continues to asks questions, the nurse fires out answers as fast as she can but the boys just keep firing back more at her. Soon after its just "If he" "If we" answers then she shuts the curtains leaving us with our emotions.

They stand there unable to move and you leave trying to occupy yourself with something else to think about. So you walk down a hall to a corridor, down another within another wing; just processing.

You get a text from Dean telling you to head back and that the doctor would be out soon.

When you finally get to the lobby you see the boys already talking to him. You leave them to finish that conversation and walk closer, slowly. "I'll keep you updated." He tells them then turns away and you catch up to them. They watched him walk away their expressions desperate and sad. You walk in between the two brothers and stand next to Sam, lay your head against his frame and reassuringly squeeze Dean's arm. Sam wraps his arm around you for his own comfort. Dean just looks blankly at you as if asking you what just happened.

Before you could hug Dean, a man hardly taller than you but shorter than the brothers approaches you three. A brown, black-haired man, looks like he's in a hurry. He pushes up his glasses prepping for the conversation, he speaks up, "Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt." Dean turns to face him first but we all turn to listen to him. "Is one of you Robert Singer's next of kin?" You look to Dean, and he tells us to stay put and motions for the man to follow him in the hallway.

When Sam looks at you he sighs and you grab his shoulders and pull him aside, "Lucifer?" His eyes glow blue. "You again. Kid, i get that i'm your guardian or whatever but I'd rather just see what lurks in Sam's mind." You whisper to him, "Lucifer, you haven't given me _any useful information. I deserve to know what happened to my parents. My dad told me to talk to you. You and Bobby are the only leads i have. I've asked Bobby and he insists he didn't know him. You are my last clue. My last hope." He rolls his eyes and Sam's eyes beam again, he looks confused. "Sam, did you hear me? Do you want coffee or not?" He blinks a few times and runs his hands through his hair. "What? No, sorry i must've daydreamed or something." You show your best face of concern and walk toward where Dean and the will executor went._

You round the corner and find the man talking. He says something that shocks Dean. The man looks like a dog with their tail caught between their legs as Dean is talking. You sneak into a nearby room trying to get close enough to listen.

"I apologize." The man manages to get out. Dean immediately raises his voice at him anger evident in every vowel. "Why are you talking to me like he's gonna die, huh? I do my job! Do your jobs! Save him!" He spits at him. The man keeps his calm voice but he looks scared of him. "Of course, they're doing everything they can." Dean barely lets him finish his sentence and throws a punch, for a moment you thought he was gonna deck the man, but he hits the glass board behind him. You come out of hiding and try to end the conversation. The man is frightened and stares wide eyed at Dean. Dean lowly tells him to walk away just as you are by his side. The man looks at you with his eyes pleading, afraid to move. "Now!" Dean barks at him.

Dean looks back at you and barks, "Why aren't you with Sam? Why are you still here? You're not family. If we didn't go back for you he'd be alive. We'd have a plan by now and not waiting in a hospital!" You don't know what to say so you don't say anything. "It should've been you." He growls. You try to say something but Dean storms out and walks outside. You slowly walk back to Sam.

"Where's your coffee?" Sam stands when you walk to him. You don't want to look at Sam, Dean was right. You knew it. He wasn't being rude he was telling you what you already knew. Avoiding Sam's eyes, you speak under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear. "I'm gonna go.." Sam stand up and approaches you. "What-why?" You take another step back. "I'm not his family, if it wasn't for me he'd be up and cracking the case." Sam sighed and hugged you. "It wasn't your fault, we let you re-con alone with no back up. None of us thought for a second about not getting you back. It's not your fault, Y/N. Please stay, Dean and I need you here." You looked at him and let go of his embrace, "Dean made it very clear that he doesn't want me here just a second ago so i'd like to respect his wishes." Sam stays silent and lets you go.

Dean is in the hallway getting his coffee when he sees you walking toward the exit. "Y/N," you turn your head in his direction and walk to him. "I get it, okay? I just went to tell Sam that i'll see him later. I know you don't want me here, i'm leaving. Let me know if Bobby pulls through." You turn to leave and Dean grabs your arm and pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. "Just stay, you don't have to be a girl about it." He whispers. You roll your eyes and hug him back, softly. His hands slide further down your back and you squint. His hands fall on your butt and you push him away. "Really, Dean? Is now the time?" He purses his lips into a smirk and looks away.

You walk to where Sam is. "He grabbed my butt." You sat down next to him and leaned your head on his shoulder. Dean just catching up to both of you, coffee in hand.

DEAN POV

Her head was leaning on his shoulder and he laid his head on hers. I don't think they're an item. They're just seemingly close. I think she's too closed off for him. She talks to him about her past and sometimes tells me. At this point i'm sure she's a lesbian, gotta be.

"Dick Roman was out there." I admit to them. They stand up immediately. "What happened?" Sam asks me. "Nothing...for now. It was just a friggin' staring contest. That was about it." I look towards Bobby's room, "What's the update?" Sam huffs in a big breath "Swelling is down a little. They took him off sedation. Apparently he started fighting off his tube, so they pulled him out, and he's still breathing on his own." I look back at Sam, "That's good, right? Is that good?"

She's staring at Bobby. I know i upset her with what I said but she has to know i was just angry. She's too fragile to me, i'm afraid ill hurt her. "So when they gonna take the bullet out?" I ask Sam, taking my eyes off of her.

"Dean, t-they're not even– they're not gonna try that yet." Sam stutters. She whispers "Abrading." Sam looks at her with realization and looks back at me again. "English?" Sam looks away, "Cutting out the dead brain tissue. That's if the doctor even thinks it's worth the risk." I don't know what to say and she's still just blankly staring at Bobby. "Can I talk to you?" Sam motions me away from her.

Y/N POV

 _They walk away from me and i tear my stare and walk to the seats. Head in my hands. I remember reading my parents files on the accident. They mentioned it as if my dad flew from the driver's seat. I remember my dad drinking that night and he would never drive if he had a drink. I figured that's why they crashed. Why would the police fake the records?_

Sam sits next to you and grabs your hand. Then excuses himself a few moments later. Dean replaces his spot. "You look to be taking it harder than i thought." He looks down at me. "I doubt it's what i said when i was upset." You look up at him speaking barely above a whisper, "I get it, you don't need to say anything. Plus, i was already thinking that. I didn't need you to say it." He starts to speak, "Dean, i'm not in the mood to talk about it, okay? Drop it." He shifts in his seat. "So.. why are you more emotionless than usual?" He asks softly. "My parents were in a crash and died when i was young. Abrading is what they would tell me a week later and write in the reports. Just a painful flashback." He sighs loudly. "Sam knew?" You nodded and started looking at the floor. He pulls you into his chest and rubs your back. Soon after. you fell asleep.

You hear Dean talking to someone and open your eyes. He's brushing your hair out of your face just like you did to him. A blonde short-haired nurse walks up to you three, "We're gonna do the operation so you can say a quick goodbye before we take him." Sam nods and Dean looks down at you. You sit up and he waits for you to walk with him. He grabs your hand as you walk towards Bobby. You let go of his hand and walk to the other side of the bed.

"Sorry. We need to get moving." The same nurse informs, trying to hurry you all along. Sam thanks Bobby and you all just try to take in every detail of the man before you. When you turn to leave you feel a hand grab your wrist, "Sam, wait- wait he's awake." You say, your grin spreading ear-to-ear. He rips his mask off and tries to speak, Dean tells him not to when Bobby reaches into your jacket pocket for the pen you always keep there. He grabbed your hands and started writing the numbers: 45489. You looked at it confused and Bobby gives you back your pen and looks at his boys.

"Idjits." He says to them., They start to smile and your heart is full and heavy again. A second later his eyes close and the heart monitor flat lines. The heaviness that filled your heart sank to your stomach and made you want to throw up and cry. They start calling out his name and all you can hear is the calling become muffled and you can't stop looking away from Bobby. Dean pulled you out to the hallway but you couldn't hear what he was saying. All you could hear was your conscious blame you for this, and you couldn't disagree.


	4. The Capacity To Love

_Back from the latest hunt, Sam is still deathly afraid of clowns. It was funny to see him squirm, and clear his throat. That's his tell when he's nervous. Dean got sucked into the 40's i would've been honored to go because i'm obsessed with the 40's crime era but he had fun. I have stopped telling Dean to not call me Sweetheart, we've become closer. More embracing. He still flirts with me but he's joking mostly now. We're at a bar to relax and take a moment to appreciate a small break.  
_

"Two years ago you quit your 9 to 5 for kicking ass and killing monsters, we're proud of you, Y/N." Dean raised his glass pint to me. Sam smiled and raised his too. I ignored them and sipped from my beer. They shared a look and drank theirs.

"Sammy, I think you should go for it." Dean smiled. You raised your eyebrow at Sam who was smiling and looking at his shoes. "What? what do you mean?" you asked. "Sammy here likes that woman at the bar but is hesitating to talk to her." Sam rolls his eyes and shakes his head at you. You look at the woman at the bar and she smiles at you. You look at Sam, "Tiny, she's hot. Go for it. If she is interested you can take my room, and i'll take your bed and share the room with Dean-o." Sam looked at Dean when he spoke up again, "Yeah, Sammy listen to your best friend." Sam nodded at got up but you grabbed his hand and yanked him back down.

They started looking at you confused. "I'm gonna screen her first. I mean with Dean and the amazonian and your track record? Ruby, Jess, your soulless girls, that one girl that turned out to be a werewolf, a month ago where the girl turned out to be a stripper." Dean started laughing and joined in, "Ellie from 8th grade, Rachel from high school –" Sam rolled his eyes and interrupted us. "Alright, Alright, go this is bumming me out." You adjusted your bra, fixed your leather jacket and winked at the boys sliding out of the bar stool, heading her way.

You walk towards her with a sway in your hips, "HI, i just wanted to say i love your blouse. It's so pretty." She turns and smiles at you, "Thank you! I got it at a cute boutique downtown. I love your jacket by the way, where'd you get it?" You thank her and order a drink looking back at your boys. You wink and sit down.

DEAN POV

She winks at us and Sam laughs. "She's so gay." I whisper putting my head in my hands. Sam laughs harder. And says "She's not gay, dean. She doesn't care about the gender of a person in order to date them." I raise my eyebrows in confusion "What the hell does that mean? She's gay, i'm pining after a girl who is a lesbian." i put my head in my hands and grunt. Sam chuckles and sips on his beer again. "Pining?"

I glare at him "You say a word, i'll kill you." He rolled his eyes and motioned to the waitress for another round.

Y/N comes over and hops into her seat. "Oh, Sammy she is so sweet. Go to her, i talked you up." Sam cleared his throat and got up to approach her. "You graduated top of your class at Stanford, right?" He sighs and groans when she laughs, knowing full well Sam didn't graduate. She puts her elbows on the table and her hands holding her head and she sighs heavily and dreamily. "Dean-o, our baby boy is growing up." She squeals and grabs my hand. I hold my breath, i stare at her. _Oh god, the way she smiles. And is trying her hardest not to attract attention and embarrass Sam. "Deeean?" She says my name in sing-song and waves her hand in front of my face. I blink shifting in my stool. "Yeah? What'd you say?" She smiles at me. "I said, do you wanna get some burgers and rent a movie? Why are you staring at me like that?" I smile back and tell her, "Yeah, I do. I was thinking about how you never told me you're a lesbian." She spit out her drink and hit me. "I am not a lesbian, i just don't care about genders." i look at her and nod my head._

Y/N POV

 _We're drinking on his bed and surprisingly not watching the movie._

 _  
"Okay, but if you would date a girl, you're kind of a lesbian." He says and sips his beer. "No, but it's okay i'll explain it to you another time." I bend down and reach for another beer bottle. "So if you aren't gay then why do you reject me all the time?" I choke on my drink. "What? Are you joking? When we met you were just a playboy and my mentor. You have not been seriously flirting since bobby died." He rolls his eyes. "You have somewhat of a point, but I have been actuallyflirting with you, Y/N."_

I sit up, "Wait a minute! Are you admitting your feelings for me? Does dean actually have the capacity to love?" He rolls his eyes and gets up from the bed. You get up and chuckle, "I do not have feelings for you, that's ridiculous." He grumbles into his beer bottle before taking a swig. You turn him around, "Say it to my face and i'll drop it." He stares at you. Moves closer to your face and stays silent. He leans in.

"I don't have feelings for you." He says perfectly calm. You can smell the beer and his leather. And cologne? He doesn't wear cologne. "You looked in my eyes a little too long to "not have feelings for me"." He stood up straight and rolled his eyes. "You're also wearing cologne which is very unlike you." He smirked and sat down at the table, "Would you quit it? The whole having-feelings-and-expressing-them-is-for-wimps thing is stupid. I don't care who you are or who you think you are but you feel just like the rest of us. I have feelings for you, but i can't do anything with your charade. So cut the shit or we're going to sleep." He gets up sighs angrily and crashes his lips onto yours. He softens the kiss and wraps his arms around your waist.

"Happy?"


	5. Heaven Must Be Missin' An Angel

As if Dean's life wish had come true, Sam pulled up in the jeep with his jacket covered in glitter. You sat on the hood, legs crisscrossed. Dean usually would bark at you to get off his one-true-love, but lately, it's as if you could do no wrong. While you liked not hearing him annoy you, it didn't sit right at times. You were going to let him down sooner or later, no one should be held in that high of graces. Not even god.

Sam approached, waiting for Dean to share some deprecating wit on his appearance. With hand motions, he said, "Let's roll!" Dean walked toward him after looking at you. He was playing with his lips, he was gonna do it. Sam notices it and bows his head in preparation. He tells Dean to get on with it.

Dean sucks in air laughing, "I'm sorry. You look like you got attacked by some PCP-crazed strippers." You sucked in your lips trying not to smile nor laugh. Sam laughs with him, going along with it. Sam always did that, he was comfortable with himself. You loved that about Sammy. "Dude, one of them sprayed me with seltzer from his flower." Dean erupted in laughter again. A part of you thought that Sam always did that because to hang out with Dean. He had to impress him and part of that was helping Dean make fun of himself.

Dean starts apologizing to him. Soon after you realized this was one of their brother heart-to-hearts. You slid off the hood and walked to the back of Baby. You hopped up only hearing voices, but no words. Your mentorship is coming to an end soon, but you wanted to stay. They have this newfound hold on you now. They make you feel safe. You'd never learn to trust, but with them, it came naturally.

Sam ended up getting Dean that slinky he wanted, and Dean gave him a clown doll. Sam held it and laughed with sarcasm in his voice. When Dean started up the car and wasn't looking Sam threw the doll out the window, smooth as you like. You smiled at him in the rearview mirror and he looked away from you and pretended he didn't. Dean turned on the stereo and sped out of town, Sam put his arm on the window edge and laid his head down staring out. You kicked off your shoes and put your legs on the rest of the backseat. Dean didn't mind if you took off your shoes. Sam wasn't allowed to take off his shoes if he wasn't sleeping. Dean said that Sam had athlete's foot most of the time, you never wanted to find out for yourself.

"Anyone want anything from the store?" Dean's head was poking back inside the car. You asked for a water and Sam said he was fine. When Dean was out of earshot, Sam turned around to look at you, "So, are you and him dating?" Sam's voice trailed like a regular gossip. "No, we enjoy each other's company?? I don't know, Sam." Sam nodded and looked back at the convenience store where Dean was at the counter. Quietly, as if he was afraid someone might hear. He uttered, "I keep seeing Lucifer, it's easier to make him go away but most of the time he sits next to you and watches you. It's kind of creepy, actually." You shift uncomfortably and scoot to the edge of the seat to face Sam. "Is he here right now?" He shakes his head. You place your hand on his shoulder and give him a comforting squeeze. Sam puts his hand on yours and lays closer to the side of the car, trying to sleep.

 _Lucifer could tell him. This is all just a game to him, he could tell Sam and Sam would not hesitate to tell Dean. Tread Carefully, Y/N._

"Y/N?" Sam whispers, "Sometimes I lose track of time when I'm around you. I think it's because of Lucifer, but it hasn't happened in a while. I'm sure I'm gonna be okay." He squeezes your hand then lets go putting it in his lap. Clicks of Dean's boots caused you to tear your attention away from Sam. Drinks and snack placed on the roof. The smooth entrance Dean made was inaudible so Sam could sleep uninterrupted. It wasn't planned Dean had been doing this since he was 15. It's 18 years' worth of muscle memory but Dean would deny his motives for it, claiming it was "just so Sam wouldn't whine". Dean was complex but when you spend enough time over thinking and studying him, it was a road map to his psyche. One of your favourite things was that he had a hero complex but it would become blurred in this business.

"What did you and Sam talk about?" Dean looked at you from the rearview mirror. You should've traded seats with Sam but his light snores hinted that it was too late. You chuckled, "He asked if we were dating, I told him no." He cleared his throat and looked at the empty road ahead. "We're not?" You crossed your arms on your chest and raised your right eyebrow at him, "We are?" He picked up his coffee from the cup holder between him and Sam, "Well I thought we were up til about two minutes ago. I didn't think this was high school and I'd have to ask you." He glanced at you in the mirror again, "Well considering all the women you have sex with on the road. And in the short time we've known each other. I assumed we were doing...us. Last I checked, that didn't have a label." You could see him roll his eyes. Well since that night, I figured we were something if exclusive." Scoffing at him, "That night? You make it sound so sacred and scandalous." He put down his coffee and pulled over. He turned around to face you,

"You want the conversation, fine. Dean, where do you see this going?" He stares at you incredulously. "Hopefully, defeating dick roman as a couple and after we take him down you can hunt full time with us." You sigh, and run your hand through his hair, "Okay. If Sam ever asks again I will correct myself. Happy?" He smirks and turns back to the steering wheel and starts up Baby again.

DEAN POV

Y/N and I barge into the doctor who admitted Sam into the ward's office. The Nurse was nagging at us looking pissed as all hell but, while I cannot blame her, she will not ever stop me. "Sir, Ma'am." Y/N stopped her right before the doorway, "Listen, I have a very short temper. Unless you want a visit to the E.R. you step away from me immediately." The nurse dropped her jaw in awe and stomped away back to the front desk. "Pencil pushing bitch." Y/N shut the door behind herself. The doctor looked at me and asked what all this is for, he was in this early 50's with a toilet bowl haircut. "I need to find my brother he was in a car crash. Why the hell can't I see him?" He took off his glasses and asked if I was Sam Smith's brother one of our well-known aliases.

Y/N POV

After three minutes Dean and Sam's doctor opened the door that you had guarded. "If you'll both follow me." Dean grabbed your hand and led you trailing behind Toilet-Bowl Ph. D. TBPHD stopped us at a large heavy beige door. When he opened the door, it revealed Sam who was lying in his bed. "How do you feel?" Dean asked him. You grabbed the chair facing the desk and sat backward on the seat. Sam was talking to Dean but looked over to where you were but not actually looking at you. Lucifer is here. Dean sat at the edge of Sam's large bed. "Sam, we're gonna find you help."

SAM'S POV

"Now that sounded a little cynical," Lucifer said playing with a rubber band. He was sitting on the desk right behind Y/N I didn't want to tell her. At least, not with Dean here. "I don't think it's out there, Dean." He proceeded to say that we didn't know that but all I could focus on was Lucifer. He was running his hands through her hair, she couldn't feel it. "She has been lying to you both." When I looked at her it was full of concern and I couldn't imagine her lying to us. He's trying to mess with me. That's why he's kept me up.

Dean got up, "Sam if I don't find something." "Then I'll die. Dean, we knew this was coming. When you put my soul back." Dean was shaking his head. Y/N was looking at the floor, she probably feels out of place in these conversations. "Cas warned you about all the—" "Screw Cass!" He said, he can't let this go, he can't accept this when it's not himself. He can't be alone, but he can leave me alone. "Quit being Dali frickin' Yoda about this, okay? Get pissed!" He slams his fist into his hand. I appreciate all the rah-rah let's do it stuff but I haven't slept in days. "I'm too tired." He stares at me and storms out. Lucifer mocks us.

Y/N gets up and sits down on my bed. She grabs my hands and squeezes them, "He's a hypocrite at times but he's right. We'll get you out of this somehow, your job is to try to sleep. If you can't I wouldn't blame you, sweetie. You are so strong, and you'll be out of here. I promise." She kisses my forehead and walks out with a reassuring smile.

Y/N POV

"Y/N, baby, wake up we have a healer, one of Bobby's friends swears he's the real deal. Get dressed." Dean was stomping all around the house. You grab your clothes and head to the restroom to get dressed. Black skinny jeans, a light blue short sleeve button-up. Putting on your black leather jacket the boys had bought you. Finishing the look with your signature black boots. You grabbed your weapons harness and put it on under your leather jacket. It had a demon blade, given to you by a friend of Garth. It was sleeker than Ruby's which made it easier in movement and got the job done. And a gun Dean gave you on the other side. You added a flashlight attachment to the bottom of it. Dean would make fun of you for it but it came in handy which would make Dean annoyed.

Throwing your bags in the back you hopped into Baby and took off to find a healer named Emmanuel. "He's the only lead. I have high hopes for this but with my track record, it's about to blow up in my face, Y/N". You stroked his arm and told him everything will be okay. It calmed him down a little, but let's face it. You're not a miracle worker.

You waited in the car because Emmanuel's wife was only expecting Dean and you didn't want to alarm her. A man walked out and was talking to Dean. You took out your phone to see if Sam had called or texted. You gave him his phone just in case, but he still hasn't used it. You put it back in your jacket and look back at Dean, the man's eyes went black and threw him against the door. With his back to you, you tried to sneak up on him.

"You were saying, Dean?" Dean hadn't noticed you and you hoped the demon hadn't either. "You know, I'd think twice. Or don't you know your boss issued a hands-off memo?" Dean told him. The man laughs and you were on the steps inching closer and closer. "A lot more than he wants you these days." Dean has a hard look on his face. The demon steps closer and you and Dean both plunge your knives into him. He falls between you two and when Dean looks to smile at you, something behind you catches his eye. When you turn to leave it's a black-haired man with blue eyes.

Dean couldn't stop staring at him. The man spoke, "What was that?" Dean couldn't speak. You gently pushed Dean behind you and spoke softly so only the man could hear. "That was a demon. Who apparently was probably waiting for you to come home." He runs up the steps and rushes inside not taking a second glance at Dean. You went to Dean and whispered, "Who is he?" Dean cleared his throat and led you inside, "That's Cas, but there's something wrong. He didn't recognize me."

When you both came in Cas was untying a girl from the chair. I guess that's what Dean saw that made the Demon attack him. "But, Emmanuel, they were looking for you." She said she was still shaking up. You turn your head and mouth the words, "Emmanuel? I thought you said he was Cass?" to Dean. Dean shrugged but never took his eyes off them.

The man with his wife cowering behind him held out his hand to Dean, "I'm Emmanuel." Dean took a second and tripped over his words when he told him his name. Sadly, the man did not recognize him. You interjected, "I'm Y/N, we're sorry to meet you under the circumstances." The man seemed taken back by my name. "Have we met?" You shook your head and he stopped for a moment then shook it off.

'Manny' told us about seeing the angels true face which made sense because he's an angel. He's still an angel just with good acting skills or amnesia. Dean and the couple sat down and explained the situation. You excluded yourself to the washroom. You splashed water on your face, "This life is a fucking drama series." You grabbed her cream-colored hand towels and dried your face. The cream towels didn't match the wallpaper and it was very unsettling. "Emmanuel is gonna help us. Go on ahead," he tosses you the keys to Baby. "I'll meet you in there."

The car door slams and you wake up. It's the afternoon and Dean is walking into the convenience store. Cas is right in front of you watching him walk away. "Did you sleep okay?" You respond with a yeah. "Your partner talks very highly of you, and very poorly of his friend Cas. Do you know why his own friend would break his brother's head?" He spoke very casual with curiosity laced in his tone. You stretch and yawn adjusting your jacket and putting it back on from using it as a pillow. "I honestly have no idea, but Dean used to trust that man with his life." Cas nodded and hesitated before speaking. "Those demons followed Dean into the store!" He looked back at you. You told him to stay put, don't attract any attention to himself. You gave him your phone and told him to call Dean if he needs to leave.

You jog over to the store to find Dean on the floor sitting on glass and a girl who seemed to save him. Cas didn't mention a civilian so you decided to sneak up on her while she spoke to him. "Dean, Dean, Dean. You got some 'splaining to do." You grabbed the knife in her hand and held it to her throat, grabbing her torso so she couldn't move her arms. "How about you first, sweetheart?" She laughed. "Sam looks different." He rolled his eyes and tells you to let her go, "Dean, you're too sweet to me." She looks at you, "I never saw you with them, you must've been trailing me." You chuckled, "Actually, I was sleeping in the backseat." She smiles at you, "Sneaky, I like that." You give Dean back Ruby's knife and leave to check up on Castiel.

Dean in the driver's seat Castiel next to him and you sat behind Cas with Meg next to you. Dean liked to drive with silence but it made you uncomfortable. Castiel picked up on it. "Y/N is uncomfortable which is making the silence in the car very uncomfortable." He spoke up. Dean spoke up saying that it was Meg and that she was awkward. "That must be very hard for you." He said you loved how simple he was. "Dean is making a joke, Emmanuel." She said to him. He looked confused for a second but was grinning at it. You laughed which made him smile bigger. Dean glared at you.

"I remember everything," Cas said roughly like how Sam described he would talk. You had never seen an angel smite demons but it was pretty fuckin' cool. And it, unfortunately, didn't save the meat suits; if there was still something to save. Castiel stormed off saying he couldn't save people and undo the wrongs he's done. Dean walks with him to the car and you stay with Meg. "Oh my god, this is so much drama. I just want to send leviathan back to wherever they came from and take a bath." Meg smiled. "Yeah, well these world-ending situations never end. Dean could tell you that himself." You both walked to the front door and saw only Dean jog back. "Cas is inside let's hurry."

By the time you got to Castiel there was a man with his eyes burned out, dead on the floor. Sam passed out on a gurney type bed. Dean and you carried Sam back to his room. You sat on his bed and held his hand. Castiel was talking with Dean about the wall Death put in his mind that Cas broke and why he couldn't fix it. A few seconds later Cas rushed to the opposite side of the bed and the abruptness woke Sam up. He looked at you and Castiel. "Y/N, he's right next to you. He's always next to you." Cas put his hand on Sam's forehead and a glowing red light flowed through Castiel and Sam's veins. When Cas stopped touching him he freaked out and backed into the wall. Scared shitless.

"You did it." Sam breathed.


	6. The One Where They Find Out

Sam POV

"I thought me getting mentored by them was your "chip"?" Y/N is in the back laying on the whole thing leaning on the side of the car how she usually does. I gave up my seat for her but she refused to sit there when I'm in the car. "Oh, that's true," Dean grunted and told her to put it on speaker. I can't see her because she's leaning on the side of Baby behind me, but she does it. "So, can I cash it in, Dean?" Garth said merrily. Dean retorted, "You cashed it in when we agreed to mentor, Y/N." Garth sighed. "Like I told her, I gained back the chip. because technically you invited her to stay and your dating her so the chip is still mine." Y/N said in sing-song that he's right. "We'll be there."

I keep thinking about her and I try not to because she's dating my brother but I do. Right now, she's getting dressed in Baby in the parking lot. We bought her FBI clothes a bit tight, Dean said that men will give up more info if they're distracted by her... cleavage. I haven't spaced out around her lately, but I think it's because before Lucifer occupied my mind.

I met with my guardian angel a week ago in my dreams, he has never left heaven and refuses to. It was a dumb follow up after the whole Lucifer thing. Dean and Cas are still in a weird place but we're having Meg look after him. Y/N was volunteered but Dean said he needed her. Well, more implied than anything but it's still a huge step for him.

"Lady and gentlemen, this is corporal Brown." Y/N led in front of us. To distract the agent or officer who was escorting us. It was all about who the escort seemed more attracted to. "Corporal James Brown." Y/N laughed, "Okay." Dean poked her in the ribs. "I'm shipping off to the AF Mañana. I'm here to pay respects to my cousin. I will not be at the funeral." Garth states with a half-convincing smile. The coroner can't see through him because it's not a skill in his job description of skills to do that.

The two victims were brothers. Same cause of death; gutted in the woods. The victims are the sons to an owner of Thigh Slapper Brewery. Y/N said she got a call from Meg and headed over just after we left the morgue. Last night I had a vision that she talked to Lucifer through me, all I saw at first was a bright blue light. Every time I close my eyes the images are vividly carved into my eyelids. I want to talk to her about it. Ever since they got together it's hard to talk to her because Dean gets curious about our conversation.

Y/N POV

"Meg, can you give Cas and I few minutes I want to ask him things and they're a bit... personal?" Meg was sitting in a chair next to Cas' bed. Her legs on top of another and she was reading what looked like a comic book labeled 'Supernatural'. He smiled at her and nodded. She popped her gum and took her book in her uniform pocket. She sways out the door toward the front desk.

Castiel smiles at you then looks next to you in horror. He quickly sits up and you can see his Adam's apple move as he gulps. Lucifer is watching over you. "He seems fond of you." He smiles weakly, "What did you say your name was again?" He started twiddling his thumbs and you crossed the room and sat at the foot of his bed. "Y/N Y/L/N." He shifts in his bed. Looking to the right on the bed next to you. "He tells me to look at your arm, do you mind?" You hesitate, but give in. Dean won't want to talk to him anyway and from what dean said he knows how to keep a secret. You roll up your button-up sleeve and look away as you give him your arm.

"To us angels, the name shows up as a bright blue but yours is red where I see his name." He moves his head next to you to indicate that he was next to you. "I never knew the name of the unfortunate child who mistakenly got him assigned to them." He rolls his eyes "Do the Winchesters know?" You unroll your sleeve and place your hands in your lap. "No, I originally went to them to talk to Lucifer. Apparently, he knows how my parents died. It must've been a big deal if their death ruled an accident." He nods and says he'll poke around in his mind to see what he can find. You went to go get a snack while Cas talked to Lucifer by himself.

Sam POV

We're at a motel, bit more spruced up than we're used to. Weirdly, it has a hot tub in it. Dean pulls three beer bottles from the mini fridge, Thigh Slapper Ale. "That's actually awesome. I'm not even mad at it anymore." Dean says after a quick swig. We stare at garth who downed the whole thing at once, "I don't even usually drink beer. Messes with my depth perception." He burps "Especially when I skinny-dip. I start to brief the others on my research when Garth starts giggling, "Dude, are you drunk?" I ask him. It would make sense he's kind of small. "Dude, I just drank a whole beer. Of course, I'm drunk." He burps again.

I get back to telling Dean that the plan of selling the brewery. We had a theory that even in death he's still not okay with them selling it behind his back. There was a call on the police scanner to the McAnn House. We split up, they head there and I head to visit the widow.

Y/N POV

Castiel sound down next to me on the bed, he said Lucifer gave up some information. He may not know if it's true but he thinks I deserve to know. "Before you were born you parents couldn't have kids and didn't have money. They tried to have kids but there was something wrong with your mom's uterus. So, one day a desperate man prayed to all the angels. Castiel remembers the day, he begged someone to help them. The angels didn't help because they were on strict orders not to do so, all but one. Lucifer, still in the cage, talked to his demons. He assigned Crowley to make a crossroad-type deal. Heaven never knew. Never questioned how she had a baby, that baby was you." Your eyebrows are furrowed and when you try to speak you can't. Castiel puts his arm around you. You shrug it off and stand up. "Y/N, I-" Castiel is interrupted by an alarm.

The lights turn red in the hallway and Cas' room light dims low. You reach your hand inside your jacket and grab the gun Dean gave you, Cheryl. You went to the door and tried to see what you can make out from the window. As you place your right hand on the door knob you turn your head slightly. "What did Lucifer have to do with my parent's death? Why was it covered up?" Castiel didn't say a word. You turn toward him, you have the urge to point the gun at him. It'd have no effect. Your next thought was the angel blade in your jacket. You go to reach it when the door opens suddenly. It's meg, "Hey, hunter. I'd appreciate the help." You nod and follow her before you close the door Castiel yells, "Come back soon. I'll tell you then."

"One of them said they were only supposed to watch the place but one of Crowley's goons thought to end it sooner." You told Meg, who was dragging the bodies away from the mental institute. You were helping clean up. "Asking about Lucifer?" You looked up from mopping the floor. "What?" She chuckled lowly, "I'm not stupid. Every demon worth their salt knows you're under Lucifer's protection. I just didn't know he was your Guardian Angel." You groaned at her pun. You put the mop back in the bucket and moved to the other side of the lobby. "Well pretend you don't because I haven't told anyone else." She sits on top of the desk, "Not your killer boyfriend?" You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

Sam POV

I met Dean and Garth at the brewery to look around to find the box from the widow's story. It had already been opened. Dean found the security camera and we're scanning it to see who opened it. It's a small lead but it's all we got. Currently, we're drinking to see if that's what the key to looking at the monster is.

"So, he opened the box and it must've followed him to the place with all the- the thingies." I think this probably would've ran smoother if only one of us got drunk. "Yes. Yes. That's smart." Dean replied. "Wow, I'm actually kind of drunk. What is this? Me likey." He pours himself even more and has that dumb drunk grin. He spits it right back out when Baxter runs in on us. Garth was supposed to be on watch.

He starts to dial the police when Garth electrocutes him from behind.

Y/N POV

Dean drunk dialed me so once Meg and I finished up, I was on the road back to them and get back on the case. I don't want to but if I'm gone longer than I should they'll start asking questions. The lies keep building and I'm having a hard time remembering. Garth had sent you an SOS at the brewery so that's where you were headed. Only 5 minutes away, stopped at a stupid red light. A stupid pop song flowed through the speakers. It filled your eardrums and made your head hurt. Happy tunes were not what you needed. Not for the product of a demon deal. You turned off the radio and stared out the window looking at a family. The little blonde was on top of the dad's shoulders licking an ice-cream. The dad was holding her leg and eating his cone. The mother was eating her ice cream in a cup with a spoon. They were laughing.

A honk behind you broke you out of your glare. You sped up and into the parking lot of the brewery. You slapped your face and pinched your cheeks so they wouldn't notice your despair.

"Dean? You here?" You saw Sam staring into a hallway and brought out Cheryl. But when you inched around stealthily it was Dean. With a sword in his hand staring at nothing. Sam turned around and when he bumped into you, he screamed. "Y/N WHAT THE HELL?!" Dean whipped his head around in time to see Sam bent down with his hand on his chest. He starts laughing. "Come on, Sam. You're a hunter. How did she sneak up on you?" Dean's chuckles and walks over and puts his arm around you. Sam is rolling his eyes, "So, how's Cas?" You shrug, still smiling at Dean. Or at least, as much as you can. Sam is looking at you weird.

Sam POV

She's fake smiling. I want to ask her about it but I know if I do in front of Dean it'll make it into a big thing and she'll get upset. Garth and Baxter's illegitimate child/ the janitor caught up to up and Y/N helps garth get back into his car. The janitor is ogling at her but Dean hasn't noticed yet.

"Dean, can we- uh talk for a sec?" He sheathes the sword and asks me what's up. "Dean, Y/N is hiding something from us." He starts glaring at me his jaw is clenched and he throws the sword on the floor. "I know." He puts his back against the wall and his head in his hands. "She has nightmares. She cries in the middle of the night in her sleep." I lean against the wall and sigh, "She would talk to Lucifer through me. I didn't know it at the time, it was just like I lost track of time around her." Dean groans, "How do you not question that? What did you think you were in love with her?" He laughs and I cough and look away. "NO." He faces me, "You thought you were in love with my girlfriend?"

"I was wrong. But why would she talk to the devil, dean?" He paces, "Well she has nightmares. About her parent's car accident." He stops and claps his hand. He walks outside in a strut, when he comes back with her and she's groaning. "Dean, I'm not into him. Quit the jealousy routine." He smirks at her, "Sweetheart, I'm not jealous of every guy that stares at you." She raises her eyebrow and puts her hand on her chest in surprise. "Dang." She says, then turns to me and asks what's with the hubbub.

"Y/N, we know about Lucifer." She rolls her eyes. "Meg." Her eyes are squinted and her arms are crossed against her chest. Dean adjusts his stance and crosses his arms just like dad used to. It's scary how much he turns into dad, occasionally he sees it too. "Meg knows?" Dean raises his eyebrows and steps toward her. She nods, "I don't know the full story but I can tell you everything that I know." Dean sighs and puts his head down in disappointment. She nervously crosses her arms and stops for a moment to take it all in.

Dean's more upset than I've almost ever seen him. She came here for us- for me. So, she could ask her Guardian Angel, who by the way is Lucifer, about the death of her parents. She keeps apologizing. Dean keeps calling her a liar, that their relationship was a sham and whatever else. Dean dropped her off at the motel in her room and he's taking me to a bar.

"Dean, we of all people should be able to understand where she's coming from," I say. He rolls his eyes and keeps speeding through town. "We did everything to avenge mom's murder. She just found out everything she'd ever known was a lie, Dean" Dean sighed and turned up the volume on his stereo. AC/DC blasted through the stereo. I rolled my eyes and turned it down again, "Sam, I don't want to talk about it or her. Drop it." When we pulled up he lowered Baby's volume and smirked at me. "Let's drink." I took the keys from the ignition and he glared at me and rolled his eyes. He opened his door and slammed it shut. "Dean, we did everything to find dad. Her parents are gone and she just wants to know why." He turns on his heels and pointed a finger at me, "We never lied to people who only tried to help us. Now, drop it and come drink or leave." I nodded and put the keys in my pocket.


	7. Sugar Coated

_Dean couldn't stand the sight of me. A few days later Sam took us on a hunt after Annie and the house of ghosts. I went hot headed and angry into a trap, I was scratched badly across my eye. It's still healing but the scar goes just above my eyebrow to my jaw bone. Dean looked pained looking at me hurt but maybe that's just because we was looking at me. He sent Sam to check in on me occasionally but Sam just gave me sad looks. I told him I could take care of myself, he put his hands up in defeat and left me to wallow in the dark_.

 _One morning I followed them, Sam left the motel in the impala and I watched Dean from the window. I picked the lock when I saw him retreat into the bathroom. I looked through their research that was sprawled out on the table. I sat on the wooden chair next to the window, closing the blinds on the way down. My legs spread the way my father used to when he was assertive. My pack of cigarettes in my jeans and the lighter tucked into my combat boots. When Dean got out I flicked my lighter cap and lit one. The warm orange illuminating my face for him._

 _"What are you doing here?" He said roughly. He walks over to one of the twin beds and grabs a black tee, putting it on. "When did you start smoking?" You blow smoke towards him and take another long drag putting your elbows on your knees. "Again? About a week ago. I'm here for our official break-up, Dean." He sighs and sits on the bed still covered by the towel._

 _"Fine. Did you want me to say it?" He sits on the bed putting on his pajama pants. "Dean, I get that I came into your life and our relationship with false intentions but last week... Last week, I came to you. I was having a panic attack and you slammed the door in my face." He walks over to me and grabs my cigarette. Throws it on the floor and puts it out with his slipper. "Get out." I chuckled and nodded. Sliding out of the chair and making my way to the door_.

"Y/N I have a job an hour away from you, are you up for it?" Garth was chipper this morning and you didn't care to ask why. "Yep, I'll get dressed and be on my way. Can you email me the deets?" You turned on the shower and started to kick off your shorts. "No problemo, pal." You soon received a ding on your phone that you placed on the counter.

Heading into the small town, it seemed sweet and lively. You had on your FBI power suit. Victim's name: Tara Lodge. Slaughtered in her own home. Doors and locks seemed to have not been tampered with. You parked your SUV in the driveway and headed inside the house.

"Ma'am, this is a closed crime scene. You can't be here." You flashed your badge at the deputy. "What happened here, dep?" He shut his mouth and cleared his throat. "No signs of BE, Miss Lodge was slaughtered last night at 3 A.M. Murder weapon was an ax, found near the entrance. Her brother, Jake, found here like this at around 7. He's in the living room." You nod and make your way to see a disoriented man talking to a local officer. "Jake Lodge? Agent Sanders. I am very sorry for your loss. Can I ask you a couple questions?"

"Mr. Lodge, why did you come to your sister's apartment at 7 A.M.?" He motioned me to have a seat on the couch across from him. "Uh, yeah. I was giving her a ride to work today. Her truck wouldn't start yesterday so I promised her we'd carpool today." His hands fidgeted in his lap. "Of course, Where were you at 3 A.M. this morning?" He looked shocked. Adjusted further from me on the couch. "Are you suggesting I killed my own sister?!" You smiled warmly, "Heavens, no. We, at the bureau, need to gather all information from all angles to make sure to catch your sister's killer." He readjusted his position to the default.

"One more question, was there anything that stuck out when you arrived here? Did it smell like rotten eggs? Cold spots?" He nodded. "It did smell like rotten eggs but what does that have to do with this, with her?" You assured it was a relevant factor to a case like hers.

 **New Text Message:**

 **Sam:** _Hey, how are you holding up? Garth says you're on a new case. Need any help?_

 **Me** : _All good, Sam-I-Am._

 ** _Sam is typing…_**

He stopped. You sighed and put your phone back in your jeans. You got back in your SUV and headed out to get food and eat in your motel, possibly set up some devil's traps as well. Good thing Sam and Dean forced you to get your anti-possession tattoo. You got it on your rib cage, which hurt a lot more than your forearm.

"Agent Sanders, talk to me." You tried your best to not sound as tired as you were. You couldn't sleep, you haven't had good sleep in weeks. Dean kept you warm, his heart beat kept you grounded in a way that white noise couldn't. You had spent the night of the what if's and is he having the same problems as you. Maybe he sleeps on his back again. When you two were together he would sleep on his stomach. From having nightmares of waking up and seeing you on the ceiling burning. Like his mother and Jessica.

"Sanders? The FBI lady with the cool scar?" A man's voice spoke. You chuckled, "Apparently, what can I do for you?" It was the deputy reporting another victim. Jake Lodge. You decided to do some research a bit more before you headed out.

Same M.O.: not a BE, slashes across the abdomen and a slit throat, axe by the doorway. Jake and Tara have a younger sibling named Carter, she's going to meet you at the morgue. First, you had to check out the crime scene. To see if it also smelled of sulfur.

Here you are at the morgue watching an attractive 24-year-old weeping next to two of the victims. "Agent Sanders. Carter, my condolences. Is there anything you can tell me about your siblings and why somebody would do this to them?" She looked at you with despair. "They both worked at our family's warehouse. They were working on a project with Tom Anders. Something about a revolutionary advancement in the research for Curing Cancer. Tom was causing problems but I don't think he's capable of something like this. I know him." After you left you called Garth to find an address for both Tom and which warehouse site they worked.

You grabbed your extra angel blade from your arsenal in the false bottom of your trunk. Double wielding felt powerful. Messy and beautiful, if you have the skill for close combat. You stashed the blade in your under-jacket holsters.

Today was their unveiling for the project. You put devil's traps in the basement office of Tom. Sure enough, when he came in it was with a confused Carter and some dude who was probably his Demon-in-Crime. All but Carter couldn't move from the circle I spray painted on the ceiling. You had been sitting on the meeting table with invaluable knowledge littered on it. Tom Had a knife to Carter's throat within a second. You laughed and took your intimidation stance you used on Dean. Cheryl in one hand and your cigarette in the other. You took a drag as Tom looked nervous at his threat. "We heard about you. You don't seem as tough as you look. If you try anything I'll slit her throat!"

You hopped off the table and flicked the cigarette on the research. "That's what you're going with? Really?" He looked to his partner who just looked at me in confusion. You pointed Cheryl at him. _This won't do any good to him. He's a demon, he can't be trusted. Make the right choice._ Then moved a little to the left and pulled the trigger. The bullet was sent between Carter's eyes. She was sent down to the floor. "Gosh, I really hate ultimatums." You chuckled and tucked Cheryl in your jeans waistband. You reached in your holsters and brought out the blades. Behind you was the heat of the fire burning away at all their research. "You boys are about to see something real special." You grinned as they shared doomed looks.

 **Sent Text Message:**

 **Me:** _All taken care of, boss._

 **Garth** : _Did Carter make it?_

She would've died anyway. You did the right thing by making her death quick.

 **Me** : _Unfortunately, one of the demons got to her. I destroyed the research. That can't be in the wrong hands._

 **Garth** : _I have something for you…_

 ** _Garth is typing…_**

 **Garth** : _Sam and Dean need your help with defeating Dick Roman. You in?_

You didn't know, but that could wait until after you visited Castiel at the hospital.

You were concerned, or half-concerned with your recent hunt. Killing the demons felt like the relief you needed. No, you always feel better ridding the world of monsters. That was nothing new.

"Hey, heard about Tommy. Bit overkill don't ya think?" Meg escorted you to his room in her nurse get up. "Overkill? It was a regular hunt. That's all." She giggled and left Cas and me in his room.

"Y/N, I'm glad you're here. We can finish our talk." Castiel sat up in his bed and greeted me with a nervous smile. "Let's skip the sugar coating, I've waited too long for this." It sounded harsher than you intended. Castiel nodded and patted his bed. You obliged and sat down giving him your full attention. "When I explained your father and mother made a demon deal, I didn't tell you the whole story." You straightened your posture and waiting for him to explain.

"Your mother did have a problem getting pregnant, that's true. She- she was banished from her home and found solace in your father. They were on the run, and tried very hard to have a baby- to have you." You nodded. Itching for him to get to it. "Y/N, your mother was a demon."

There it is, the thing that sets you back. "Your father made a demon deal leaving out full disclosure of their situation." That didn't make sense they broke the terms before you were born why wait til you were 9 to kill them. "When it came close to their 10 years deal, they decided they didn't want to leave you alone. When you were 8 they became hunters and searched for ways to prevent their death. When you were 9 and a half, they almost got it. Until one day a little girl prayed to her Guardian Angel not knowing who he was to our kind. She told him how close they were to staying with her." It was… you.

"Me? Why would I- I don't understand." He grabbed your shoulder which you yanked back from his grip. "Your mother being a demon, you being a Cambion, she didn't want you to know of the religion. Why Lucifer was a bad Guardian Angel. Why she convinced you normal people do not pray to their Guardian Angel." You started crying. You tried to start but Castiel's face became blurred from your tears. "I killed them?" Castiel looked away and nodded.

You killed your parents. You killed them because you hoped that Guardian Angels were real. You knew weird things happened to you since your teens, but you figured it was all a coincidence. Not that you were a product of a tortured soul from hell.

Your fault. Your fault. _YOUR FAULT._ YOUR FAULT! Who kills their own kin?! A monster. You hunt your own kind and you didn't even know about it. What kind of sick soul would do that? You deserve to die by the hands of Dean. He was right to hate you.

 **New Text Message:**

 **Dean** : _We need you._

 ** _Y/N is typing…_**

 **Me** _: I'll go._

You don't deserve to die, you didn't do anything wrong. All your life you've lived by good morals. You're a cambion with a human soul and human morals. You're going to meet the boys at the cabin and you're going to defeat Dick Roman. No one must know, it's not who you are. It has never defined you.


End file.
